Referring to one of our favorite Chinese restaurants, my wife’s observation is that Chiang Mai tries to be the Rainbow of Thai food, but without the latter’s attention to taste. Décor-wise, you can see the influence: Orientalism with a Western eye (if that’s not a tautology) and an attractive interior, in this case with bamboo and fabric panels on the ceiling and paper lampshades, although the wood wainscoting is an off touch. Sidewalk dining is also an option, although Chiang Mai could make the "worst of" list in this category—your view is not so much of a street scene as of the Calhoun Square parking ramp.

B and I had difficulty coming up with an appetizer to share. The menu lists egg rolls, cream-cheese wontons, satay, fried tofu, and other mostly standard fare. We ended up getting the bird’s nest, one of the couple of somewhat exotic items (the other being a "son-in-law egg," hardboiled egg in a sweet and salty gravy). The serving was generous; four large balls of crispy fried rice noodles wrapped around a chicken breast filling. I like the idea of bird’s nest; you work your way inwards from the unkempt straw of crispy noodles, whetting your appetite as you reach the more substantial nest egg. At Chiang Mai, however, the expectation raised by the noodles—which were excellent, deep-fried to the right color and texture—wasn’t fulfilled by the bland filling of chicken and seafood (there appeared to be precious little of the latter). The dish came with a sauce that was sweet but otherwise lacking in flavor or distinction.

The rest of the menu consists of Thai salads including green papaya and laab (ground meat/tofu with roasted rice powder and cilantro in a lemon juice and garlic dressing), soups (based on chicken stock, coconut milk, and oyster sauce and also including a noodle soup), curries, entrees, stir fries, fried rice, and noodles. In most cases, the menu lists the base preparation and you can then decide whether you want a vegetable-based, tofu, meat, or seafood version. The seafood choices include scallops, not just the usual shrimp or squid. Several of the entrees are fish preparations.

With a menu this extensive I was hoping to see a roast duck curry, and a yellow-curry variation on the standard version of this dish (for the Twin Cities at least) is offered. I was going to get this but our waitress remarked that it wasn’t very spicy but could be made spicy or I could have roast duck with any of the other curries (why not just list roast duck among the meat options in this case?). On her recommendation I opted for the sweet green curry base. This consists of green and red bell peppers, peas, and eggplant in coconut milk with Thai spices. The curry was very flavorful, the concoction of coconut milk, basil, lime leaves, and curry paste imparting an intense savory/spicy/tinge-of-sweetness taste to the sauce. I was expecting pieces of roast duck immersed in the dish and infused with the flavors of the sauce; instead the duck was mostly layered on top of the dish. The duck was done well and tasty on its own but the dish doesn’t qualify as a roast duck curry in my book.

But, regardless, I preferred my dish to B’s, who had a Thai Muslim curry with an exceedingly bland chicken, a result partially of pieces that were too large. The dominant spice in this dish was turmeric and it was too dominant.

The first time my wife and I ate at Chiang Mai we remarked to our waiter that the meat in our curries hadn’t picked up the flavors of the sauce. We were told then that the curries are cooked separately and the meat, seafood, or tofu added per request before bringing out the dish. We checked again this week and got the following story. The curries are made from scratch without the meat, etc., ingredients and are simmering away for hours in large pots. The extra ingredients are then added and the combination is cooked some more before the dish is brought to the table. I suspect "some more" is actually very little.

From our experience, portion sizes at Chiang Mai are huge. Four people could have comfortably lunched on what we ordered. Oversizing of dishes is getting to be a peeve of mine; in a case such as this it’s also an indication of inauthenticity.

So if it’s not Chiang Mai, and it’s not, where should you be heading for good, authentic Thai food? Pace Dara (she must be human, after all), The Royal Orchid in Roseville, next to the Barnes & Nobles, is the place, especially for dinner. An insider’s tip: ask if you can get the seafood soufflé, a dish that qualifies as manna from the gods. Pat, the chef, will be delighted to make it for you if business is a little slow (so go midweek). It’s not listed on the menu and there are no advertised specials, but ask and you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Until recently (before this accursed self-denial) we used to eat Thai every Monday night. My girlfriend would order a takeaway from Taste of Thailand after her yoga class and I would impatiently await her arrival with Thai goodies. This was excellent Thai food, washed down with cold lager, but I would recommend that you only patronize Taste of Thailand if you’re willing to call ahead for a takeaway. The act of being seated in that restaurant, being offered a menu, the actual order being taken, the food being delivered to your table, waiting for your bill and finally the paying of that bill is enough to drive Mother Teresa to a homicidal rage! Fortunately Chiang Mai is run in a more organized fashion, though I did feel some irritation as I stood around for someone to seat me, finally asking the bartender for assistance.

Let’s be honest: most Thai restaurants in the Twin Cities have more than a passable resemblance to a doss-house but Chiang Mai bucks this trend by being clean and trendy. This may have something to do with its location as one of the anchor tenants of Calhoun Square. Wooden floors and a partial attempt at creating a false bamboo ceiling are pleasing touches as are the prints of the (Thai) royal family, scenes from the Thai countryside and Buddhist religious icons on the walls. The dining area has tables and booths, which are set at a decent interval from each other. One third of the restaurant is given over to a bar area and there is seating (of sorts) on the sidewalk, although your view would be restricted to the Calhoun Square parking ramp and the cars stopping at a nearby stop sign.

There are eleven wines (red and white) by the glass on an insipid wine list; presumably on the premise that wine doesn’t complement Thai food, be that as it may, I decided to continue my weekly affair with Pinot Noir by ordering a glass of Artesa (sharp, fruity taste). A & I chose the bird’s nest appetizer. The menu describes it as "spiced minced chicken and seafood, wrapped in rice paper and deep fried". In reality I couldn’t discern any seafood and the chicken patties were bland regardless of their description in the menu. The bird nest name comes from the fried noodle covering, which were crispy and more interesting than the meaty "nest egg". Some of the other appetizers on the menu are standard fare to be found on most Southeast Asian menus (chicken satay (with curried peanut sauce), springrolls (of various types and fillings), shrimp and fried tofu). The rest of the menu is divided between salads, soups, nam prig (dipping sauce served with vegetables, sticky rice and either entirely vegetarian or with grounded pork), curry and rice & noodles.

I chose the masaman curry with chicken. This is a Taste of Thailand favorite of mine and Chiang Mai’s version suffered in comparison. The chicken was somewhat tough (old…?) and the potatoes huge. Even the flavor, although strong, was monochromatic (too much turmeric, and possibly pepper). The servings were large to the point that one person couldn’t eat them at a single sitting. A had duck in green curry and I thought his dish infinitely better than mine. The bill for our fare: $46.00.

In the past we’d discovered that meats here are prepared separately from the curries and then added as per customer request. This being one of the reasons why food is much less flavorful here than at other Thai restaurants. We questioned our waitress about this process and were assured "that now the meats are cooked for a while with the curries to impart flavor". I wonder if this is true and if so for how long?

Chiang Mai is a mix of Eastern (Thai in this case) food with a Western locale and attitude. The service and attitude are great but the food doesn’t make the grade. And this makes me wonder what it is about Calhoun Square that there isn’t a single decent restaurant—with the possible exception of Sushi Tango—in it. Normally I am an admirer of Dara but in this case she’s got it wrong.